


Independence

by Passions



Series: Tarnished Hearts [11]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-26
Updated: 2013-07-26
Packaged: 2017-12-21 09:50:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/898881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Passions/pseuds/Passions
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kathryn considers the idea of living without Ciarin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Independence

"Do you ever wonder who it is?" Belle asked.

Maine in early January was not warm, but their walk had warmed them both up considerably. So now they sat, bundled up against the cold and clutching cups of hot apple cider from Granny’s, on a bench in the park.

"Who what is?" Kathryn asked.

Belle blushed. “You know, the father - erm - the biological father." She pointed at Kathryn’s rounded stomach. “I mean, just because, well, it’s someone from town. Do you ever look at anyone and just … wonder?"

Kathryn smiled. “I’ve never really thought about it, actually." And she hadn’t. Her baby, a girl as she’d found out a couple of weeks ago, had always been her baby. At the very beginning perhaps she had also considered it to be Ciarin’s baby, but that feeling had faded. Now the baby was just hers.

And honestly, that didn’t bother her. She didn’t have some deep need to know who the father was. But that didn’t stop her from taking a bit more interest in the men around town in the following days and weeks, wondering what if about all of them, now. Wondering what if about a certain gym teacher in particular.

Kathryn was well aware of the feelings blooming between Ciarin and Belle. She knew something had happened on New Year’s because they had been a bit awkward around each other ever since. But she wasn’t upset. For one thing it would be terribly hypocritical for her to be upset with them for doing something when she had spent the evening flirting with, and eventually kissing, a man who was not her husband.

And for another, Kathryn had been aware for some time that while she and Ciarin cared about each other, they were each failing to fulfill something in the other’s life, even if they couldn’t pinpoint what, exactly, that was. She had been excited to have Belle live with them and carry Ciarin’s child - she had seen the instant sparks between them the day of Belle’s interview.

And yet it seemed that only now was she fully coming to contemplate life without Ciarin. They had been married for eight years. Almost a decade. It was strange to think of life without him.

Without Belle, Kathryn would probably have never parted from Ciarin. He was damaged by past abandonment - first by his mother and then by his first wife - and she couldn’t bear to break him further, she cared about him too much. And he cared for her, which meant his sense of duty wouldn’t let him leave her when he knew he could provide her with a good, stable life.

But now Belle was here, to provide Ciarin with companionship and someone to dote on and a child. And to provide Kathryn with a very good friend and with freedom.

Kathryn had never felt trapped with Ciarin, despite everything, but now she had a chance to be just herself for a little while, and to have a child all her own. It was a lovely feeling, complete independence.

She resolved to push Ciarin and Belle together more often, and to speak with Ciarin about ending their marriage, glad that the thought only brought her happiness.

And yet, even in that lovely feeling of independence, she spared all to many thoughts for what it might be like to be not-quite-so-independent, to share her life with someone. Not Ciarin anymore, but perhaps someone taller, with lighter hair, whose kiss had set her blood to simmering more than any other had, who she knew to be good with kids because he taught them. 

Kathryn shook her head and smiled at herself. Jim Knightly was on her mind far too often these days. And she was entirely unwilling to stop indulging herself.


End file.
